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[darkov]

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latest status update 3/6/2018

Comments

[darkov]

[well...yes. she's right. that whole...her talking to a version of himself that may have sputtered off too much is uncomfortable. but... why say so out loud? what'll change? it already happened.

he's quiet for a moment, utterly unconvinced of that remark. but she doesn't know any better, clones or not.]

Mmh. That's...nice of you to say. Thanks.

[girlybruiser]

Um, is there anything I can help you with to feel better?

[ She has an idea, but she waits to hear what he says. ]

[darkov]

[he doesn't wonder long on why she's bothering: she's a kind person, that's why. he tells himself that's a shame: there are better things to spend energy on than him.

he shifts some more, dragging a sheet over his face while his communicator remains sandwiched between that and the comforter; it obscures some of the device's glow and makes it gentler.]

I'm not there. In the city, I mean. So it's fine.

[girlybruiser]

Where are you?

[ She assumes he's another Porter city. ]

[darkov]

Some, um...some resort-thing. In the mountains. In...uh. [...] Vir-virgina? Something like that.

[girlybruiser]

Ah! Are you on vacation? A resort sounds so relaxing.

[ Because why else go to a resort if not to relax? ]

[darkov]

[to stay out of the way, silly!]

...It's quiet. And there's a lot of trees. Akira and the others...they like the, the water here. But I'm not so sure about it.

[y'all don't know basic safety around stagnant pools and it's weird.]

[girlybruiser]

Akira? Akira Kurusu?

[ Did Akira go on vacation without letting them know? She sounds confused for a moment. ]

It does sound peaceful... is it near an ocean or lake?

[darkov]

Uh... [uneasy:] Just...Akira. I don't know. It's--um. No, it's...by mountains and things. Hot pools of water.

[girlybruiser]

Glasses and fluffy hair?

[ Kind of dreamy looking? ]

Oh! Those are hot springs. Wow, it sounds like a wonderful resort! I'm a little jealous, honestly.

[darkov]

...N-no. No glasses. Sorry.

Um... If. If you wanted to be here, I can ask him. His friend can--he...gets people places very fast. Like--like in a blink of an eye.

...It's kind of weird... [and he's scary. let's not talk about ryo.]

[girlybruiser]

[ A beat. ]

That fast? How does he do that?

[ Is it his power? It has to be that. ]

[darkov]

I don't know. I didn't ask. Sorry.

[girlybruiser]

It's alright.

[ She giggles softly. ]

Anyway, I appreciate the offer, but I would hate to disturb you on your vacation. You should enjoy it.

[darkov]

...

[he's quiet for a beat.]

I don't know if I should...come back. [...] I...I guess I will, if Rex or Andy say to. But...

I don't know. Never mind.

[girlybruiser]

[ There's another pause, but it's shorter this time. ]

... pardon me?

[ If she's understanding correctly, Martin is planning to stay at the resort permanently?? ]

I am not sure you can stay forever. I think. It's a lot of money to stay at places like that.

[darkov]

[he goes quiet for a longer beat, feeling a coldness in him. he...shouldn't have said that. it's too close to the worst of his thinking, and she doesn't need to hear that.

softer, murmuring:] Sorry, never mind.

[girlybruiser]

Why are you apologizing?

[ It's not quite frustrating yet, no she's not at that point, but she can't comprehend it. She doesn't understand why he feels the need to apologize over and over for such trivial things.

Is it her tone? Is it something she's saying? Haru feels she's doing both wrong and upsetting. ]

What did I say?

[darkov]

[a slow exhale.]

You didn't say anything wrong. You're nice. It's fine. I'm the one thinking bothersome things.

[girlybruiser]

... do you want to talk about it?

[darkov]

[his stomach knots some more.]

I don't think...that's a good idea. Sorry. If--if you already worry, then you'll just worry more.

I don't like that.

[girlybruiser]

[ Haru has to consider her words carefully. She could push him to open up, but that wouldn't be on his own terms in the end and he would still feel uncomfortable. Patience is the key here. ]

... alright. I won't force you to.

[ Her voice is calm, empathetic. ]

Whenever you would feel comfortable talking about it, I'll gladly listen.

[darkov]

That--

[beat.

exhale.]

That's...kind of you. You don't have to. I don't like... making everyone sad. But I always seem to.

[girlybruiser]

You don't make me sad.

[ Well, not directly. ]

You can think about it if you would like. You don't need to have an answer right away.

[darkov]

...

[he won't. he can't. he'd be too ashamed to. he can't pay back kindnesses in turn, simply because of what a mess he always seems to make. it's why he'd been glancing back outside to the wilderness now and then, wondering if he ought to just walk and keep walking until he couldn't find his way back.

it's stupid, he knows. but it doesn't mean he doesn't still think on it.

...which would bother Rex. Andy. everyone. there's really no winning, is there?

it takes a while before he pipes up:]

...Haru? [is she even still there?]