darkov: (please don't hurt me.)
[personal profile] darkov

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latest status update 3/6/2018

Date: 2018-05-10 04:26 pm (UTC)
killtime: (pic#12062906)
From: [personal profile] killtime
I'm not abandoning you. Not over this shit. [ She raises her voice without really meaning to. ] What you're saying — the fact that you think that — that's why you need people right now. And I...

If I give up on caring about you, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. And I have to live with myself.

Date: 2018-05-10 06:10 pm (UTC)
killtime: (pic#12062937)
From: [personal profile] killtime
[ A heavy exhale. ]

You can't kill me. I'm immortal. [ Oh, the hubris. ] I'm almost seven thousand years old now, and you're not about to end that streak, kid. You're stuck with me.

Date: 2018-05-11 12:09 am (UTC)
killtime: (pic#12063001)
From: [personal profile] killtime
What? [ Honestly, she's half-amazed she admitted it to him herself. ] What's not to understand? I'm immortal.

[ Well. Mostly. ]

Date: 2018-05-11 02:08 am (UTC)
killtime: (pic#12062940)
From: [personal profile] killtime
[ But she guesses what he means. She's had this conversation before. ]

I'm human, yeah. I don't know why I haven't died yet. Whatever it is, it's been keeping me alive for thousands of years. And trust me, kid, I've survived a lot worse than you.

Date: 2018-05-11 03:13 am (UTC)
killtime: (pic#12062937)
From: [personal profile] killtime
Me too.

[ She knows it's messed up. And at some points in her life, she's definitely tried to solve that problem — but she's still here, so everyone can tell how well that worked out.

Andy sighs. She's still not convinced this whole thing wasn't a mistake, but.
]

So. Now you know my big stupid secret. Can we agree to be honest with each other from now on, Martin?

Date: 2018-05-11 01:20 pm (UTC)
killtime: (pic#12287601)
From: [personal profile] killtime
That's not what I mean.

I know you're bad at it, and I know I'm definitely bad at it, but I need us to talk if I'm going to be any good at looking out for you.

Date: 2018-05-12 06:06 am (UTC)
killtime: (pic#12062941)
From: [personal profile] killtime
That's barely knowing anything at all. And considering I held you dying in my arms, kid, I think we're past the formalities.

[ There's a small pause, like she half-regrets bringing that up. ]

Look... I'm not asking you to spill your life's story. [ Her voice is a little muffled for a moment as she rubs at her face tiredly. ] I'm not even asking you to trust me. I'm just asking for a chance to earn your trust, okay? Work with me here, Martin.

Date: 2018-05-14 02:08 am (UTC)
killtime: (pic#12062924)
From: [personal profile] killtime
It's not supposed to be about what I want.

[ Her voice gets sharp on the words. She seems to realize it, pausing before she goes on: ]

Not just about what I want, anyway.

Date: 2018-05-15 02:17 am (UTC)
killtime: (pic#12062955)
From: [personal profile] killtime
Can you just... [ This is hard. When it comes to communicating emotions, she's used to dealing with people that have known her a good couple centuries or so. She doesn't have to work hard to articulate herself. She's been spoiled that way, she supposes. ] Tell me if you don't want me around. If you hate the fact that I keep trying to — I don't know. Butt into your business? Watch over you? Whatever the hell this is.

Date: 2018-05-15 03:11 am (UTC)
killtime: (pic#12062931)
From: [personal profile] killtime
Don't understand what?

Date: 2018-05-16 04:18 am (UTC)
killtime: (pic#12063002)
From: [personal profile] killtime
Do you stop caring about people because they hurt you?

Date: 2018-05-17 03:36 am (UTC)
killtime: (pic#12062925)
From: [personal profile] killtime
Well me either.

[ A half-beat. ]

You don't bother me. I'm just not good at being around people. That's not your fault.

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4'10" OF RAW, CONCENTRATED ANXIETY

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