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[darkov]

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latest status update 3/6/2018

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[killtime]

What? [ Honestly, she's half-amazed she admitted it to him herself. ] What's not to understand? I'm immortal.

[ Well. Mostly. ]

[darkov]

But--how is that possible? You're-- [human?

he hesitates to solidly say so.]

[killtime]

[ But she guesses what he means. She's had this conversation before. ]

I'm human, yeah. I don't know why I haven't died yet. Whatever it is, it's been keeping me alive for thousands of years. And trust me, kid, I've survived a lot worse than you.

[darkov]

...

[that's...messed up, Andy. that is -- it doesn't really fit well with Martin's script here, and that's a problem. one more problem. this place is nothing but problems! and him, not fitting -- that's the worst of it.

another shaky exhale -- this time more of a huff. this is...just a lot. he gets his footing one minute, has it swept away another, then blows keep coming until he finally hunkers down and hides...rinse, repeat.]

I'm sorry. [the filler phrase. he doesn't know anything better to say.]

[killtime]

Me too.

[ She knows it's messed up. And at some points in her life, she's definitely tried to solve that problem — but she's still here, so everyone can tell how well that worked out.

Andy sighs. She's still not convinced this whole thing wasn't a mistake, but. ]

So. Now you know my big stupid secret. Can we agree to be honest with each other from now on, Martin?

[darkov]

...I don't lie. [unless omissions count. BUT THEY DON'T!!!]

[killtime]

That's not what I mean.

I know you're bad at it, and I know I'm definitely bad at it, but I need us to talk if I'm going to be any good at looking out for you.

[darkov]

[hhhhhhhhhh. why.

well, he knows why. its not unreasonable. but.]

When I try to. I can’t. I can’t talk about it. I just— I already told you all. I hurt people. I don’t get what else there is to know...

[killtime]

That's barely knowing anything at all. And considering I held you dying in my arms, kid, I think we're past the formalities.

[ There's a small pause, like she half-regrets bringing that up. ]

Look... I'm not asking you to spill your life's story. [ Her voice is a little muffled for a moment as she rubs at her face tiredly. ] I'm not even asking you to trust me. I'm just asking for a chance to earn your trust, okay? Work with me here, Martin.

[darkov]

...

[dying? that...didn't happen. because it can't happen. because they wouldn't be talking about it if it did. Andy...]

Whatever you want. I...I don't know what else to say. But. It's fine.

[killtime]

It's not supposed to be about what I want.

[ Her voice gets sharp on the words. She seems to realize it, pausing before she goes on: ]

Not just about what I want, anyway.

[darkov]

Alright...

[it's a wary, quiet tone, doubtful of what to say to placate her.]

[killtime]

Can you just... [ This is hard. When it comes to communicating emotions, she's used to dealing with people that have known her a good couple centuries or so. She doesn't have to work hard to articulate herself. She's been spoiled that way, she supposes. ] Tell me if you don't want me around. If you hate the fact that I keep trying to — I don't know. Butt into your business? Watch over you? Whatever the hell this is.

[darkov]

I... I don't hate you, or, or anything. I just... [exhale.] don't understand. That's all.

[killtime]

Don't understand what?

[darkov]

...

All I seem to do is...bother you. Or hurt you. Or...get in the way. Or... [hhh.] I don't know.

[killtime]

Do you stop caring about people because they hurt you?

[darkov]

...No...

[killtime]

Well me either.

[ A half-beat. ]

You don't bother me. I'm just not good at being around people. That's not your fault.

[darkov]

[a longer beat.

quieter:] ...Alright.

[killtime]

I know I'm not the ideal person for this. [ Lower, as if some part of her doesn't want to be overheard: ] But I really do care about you, Martin. And I want to keep you safe.

[darkov]

[quiet again. he kind of...he's kind of relieved? somehow. he shouldn't, he's sure, but...but he can't avoid the comfortable sense of security her assurances leave him with.

it's...a little scary that way, too.]

Alright. I...I believe you.

[killtime]

[ Then at his answer, she too finds an odd sense of relief. ]

Okay. [ She sighs, rubbing her eyes. ] Okay. That's good enough for me.