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[darkov]

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latest status update 3/6/2018

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[darkov]

[he looks over at her with a soft frown, unsure of what she's getting at.]

But...you were. And Rex... You were here a lot. Right? [he didn't make up all those times she came over, and not just for work-stuff. he's not creative enough to be that delusional, he's sure.]

[killtime]

[ It's gotten to the point where she can't sleep if she can't feel Rex's breathing. For all intents and purposes, she does live here now. That's probably why Apollo asked — because she hasn't been back to their place in De Chima for two months. ]

...Did it matter? [ She asks it quietly, half to herself. ] Did it help? That I was here.

[darkov]

[he feels a cold beat of concern grow with each second. did he do something wrong? why is she asking about this?

his mind races to keep ahead of fearful what-ifs incoming.]

Ye-yeah...I mean. If...you weren't, I'd...probably have forgotten to get up sometimes. Or know it's a different day.

[it still happened during those floating hours where no one else was home, but those were times when he was barely awake anyway. it was all dreamlike, the time between Cass' rapid decline and her return from death.]

[killtime]

[ She nearly has a sixth sense for it now — when the anxiety starts to build in him. Without really thinking about it, she reaches out for the hand nearest her own, folding it in with her other hand on her middle. ]

I think it helped me too.

[ But she's always had trouble motivating herself to live for her own sake. To do things for her own sake. When she sees him every day, it's a reminder of why she keeps trying. It brings her a glimmer of happiness, to catch him at moments like the one before, laying there comfortably, knotting that bracelet. She still remembers what he was like when she found him that one morning. How afraid and small he looked. He's grown since then. So much. He's going to keep growing. And she...

She doesn't want to miss out on any of it. ]

Would you like it if I stayed? [ Her eyes are fixed on their joined hands instead of him. ] If I lived here. Permanently.

[darkov]

[the hand she settles on is curled into a weak fist against his collarbone, so her knuckles nearly graze his chin. he swallows, worried that the quickened pace of his heart will be too easily detected.

but her prompt halts that surge of fear in place for confusion. he blinks.]

...I thought...you already did?

[killtime]

[ Andy pauses.

Turns her head towards him and squints a little. ]

No.

[ A BIGGER PAUSE. ]

Technically, I live in De Chima. It's just... With Rex's surgery and all that other shit... [ Gods. She feels dumb right now. But. Maybe a little relieved too? ] I didn't want to leave you.

[darkov]

...Oh.

[well, everyone in this club feels a bit dumb right now. he fidgets a little.]

Sorry. I, I didn't know that... I mean--I knew you. You were out there a lot. Before. But...I kind of just thought...since you worked here a lot and...stayed a lot...

[killtime]

Yeah.

[ This is... Awkward. Though, to be fair, she'd been aware before that other people thought she lived in the Falls. Poe, for one, had been unpleasantly surprised to find out that she was not, in fact, an actual resident of this house. ]

Well.

[ She looks away again, back down at their hands. ]

Should we make it official?

[darkov]

How does that work?

[beat.]

...Do we sign more papers for the government?

[killtime]

Probably.

[ She hadn't bothered with that before, even though she'd gone to live with Apollo months ago. It wasn't really her habit — to leave that kind of papertrail, documentation and all — but once Martin had entered the picture, things changed. It mattered that people knew he was hers. That she could prove it. And though this probably matters less than the rights granted to her by the adoption papers, it doesn't hurt for people to know where his parents actually live.

It still makes that cagey instinct of her rise just to think about settling down somewhere officially. She isn't... Used to homes anymore. But she had them once. She liked having one. And she might have stayed in some of those homes forever, if not for...

Well. There's a chance here now. For something. ]

You let me worry about that. All I need to know is if you want it or not. [ A small pause. ] It's okay, if you liked it better the way it was before.

[ When she came and went without a word. Because sometimes it had felt like a lot, almost too much — just being with them all the time, dwelling on how bereft she'd feel if the Porter ever took them away from her. But a long while ago, she'd promised Rex she would stay and try. So she's trying now, in her way. Making what steps she can. ]

[darkov]

[he looks momentarily wearied by the notion of more paperwork, but her assurance she'll handle it takes the edge off.

his mouth tugs a little.]

I don't mind it. If you want to stay, you should stay. It's better when everyone is here together.

[killtime]

[ She's not sure she's making the right choice, even now, as she reassures him as if she knows what she's doing. Maybe it'll be too much — maybe it was only fine because she didn't think of the conscious commitment to something she still believes deep down is going to hurt like hell later. But whether it's wrong or right, as she looks at Martin — when she hears his answer, she knows there's only one thing she could possibly do. ]

Okay. [ Simply: ] Then I'll stay.

[ It's better when everyone is here together. ]