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[darkov]

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latest status update 3/6/2018

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[darkov]

[Martin doesn't say anything right away, because he doesn't really want to answer. talking about it will just make things worse, won't it? Kanan screaming THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS in the distance]

I guess.

[addressing the latter part is enough, right? self-consciously, Martin rubs at his elbow, blinking a few times to get tears under control, sniffing again.]

[h2no]

[he nods, and is about to turn to find something to throw together quickly for martin, but stops for a moment.]

You can cry it out, if you want. You don't have to stop yourself. Crying is healthy.

[darkov]

I do that too much.

[he takes another swipe at his face with his forearm and swallows, backing up before turning and wandering into the living room. now that Archie's here, he's aware of the mess he's made and goes to snatch up tangles of yarn, bundling them up in his hands and fishing around for one of the needles trying to escape into the cushions.]

[h2no]

[archie stops and turns to look at him.]

There's no limit on how much you can do it. You can't hold in all your bad feelings forever. If someone has a problem with you expressing them, that's their problem. Not yours.

[darkov]

[Martin's taken aback by this blunt and no-nonsense reply. and, after a beat to process, his face flushes as his chest wells up with a warmth.

he's definitely not Gina, but the same feeling he got from her comfort...he feels that now.

small:] Ye...yes, sir...

[h2no]

Good. [he smiles a little.] Go sit down, do what you gotta. I'll be through in a moment.

[darkov]

[obediently, Martin moves and plops down on the couch, barely able to linger a second before there's a pokemon hopped up on the cushion next to him and nosing his way into his lap. Martin lifts his arms to allow it, settling them atop the warm fur and slightly curling fingers into it.

this kind of care chokes him up almost as much as being sad; his vision gets blurry and his nose stuffs up as he sniffs and tries to steady. even with permission, he doesn't want to cry. he wants to be better than that, more grown and stable. as if crying just means all the good efforts people have put into him failed, as if Rex can't be gone even for a moment without Martin crumbling to pieces.

that kind of guilt is pretty hard to shake.]

[h2no]

[archie's not long. he doesn't do anything complex-- it's just a bowl of instant noodles with some scallions chopped in to make it a little tastier. even if martin's senses are dulled from grief to the point where he can't or won't taste anything. he brings the bowl though, puts it on the coffee table.]

It's hot, [he says, a little uselessly. he's also brought some tissues through from the kitchen. the soft kind, not the rough paper towel kind. he holds them out for martin.]

[darkov]

[Martin takes the tissues with a faint sound, looking over at the steaming bowl on the table. with a pooch in his lap, he's not apt to reach over and grab for it now, but that's all well and good since it needs time to cool.

it smells nice, though...]

Archie? [he looks over toward him.] How did you learn to cook things?

[h2no]

Hmmm.

[he hums thoughtfully as he watches the steam rise off the bowl.]

A couple ways. When I still lived at home I was taught by my parents, when I left - kids in my world leave home to travel when they're about eleven - I learned through necessity and the odd class in the cities I journeyed through. Then when I got older it was just... experimenting and following recipes. [he shrugs a shoulder.] It's not as hard as it looks, when you get the basics down.

[how do darkovs learn, he thinks? definitely not by choice. it seems like none of them have a choice in anything, no matter how big or small it seems. for archie, cooking is second nature, with many aspects of it he was able to specialise in simply because he could.]

...And adapting. Did I tell you I lived in a cave before I was ported in?

[darkov]

[while Archie explains, Martin quietly scrubs at his eyes -- not with the tissues which is what they were brought for. gremlins.

there's a weird, weak understanding in him at some of the things Archie speaks on, particularly that of the family. there's pieces of memories from other people still floating around in his head, mementos of the power Woden gave him for a time...a good number of them with families. cooking with them, big dinners...

his own experiences can bleed into those now, though, can't they? every month there's so many people packed in to eat...and helping Andy cook this time around...]

What...? [he looks back over with a sniff, surprised to hear something-something cave.] Live...in? Why?

[h2no]

[he nudges them towards martin, trying to remind him that they're there. he's reminded of d33 almost hurting himself when he was crying, because he was so intent on not showing any of what he thought was weakness. such a horrible way to raise anyone, he thinks. a horrible habit to fall into; denying yourself the most basic emotions.]

I wanted to, [he says, with a shrug. there's more to it than that, but he won't bring any of that up.] It was nicer than you'd think. Especially when we'd decorated it.

[he puffs his cheeks up.]

The first couple of months were rough. That was back to basics of skewering everything on a kebab stick and cooking it over an open fire. Though honestly? Cooking food like that is always tastier than using the oven or stove.

[darkov]

[obediently, Martin picks up one of the tissues and wipes at his nose while he listens.

a fire in a cave...

Martin frowns, remembering the compound kitchen back home.]

Wouldn't it get all...all smoky and hard to breathe? In a cave, with fire...

[h2no]

[he snorts, laughing a little.]

Yeah. It stopped us procrastinating on the ventilation right quick.

[darkov]

So... [he sniffs.] Your whole family? Lives in a cave? [because they want to?]

[h2no]

They weren't my family, [he says, quietly-- it's not a snap admonishment. just a quiet admittance. it had felt like they were, for a long while, but even with shelly... archie drove a wedge in between them all.] But we did work together. They worked for me, actually.

[anyway.]

Yeah, anyway-- we all stayed in the cave. It was a big one. Hidden away, just because we could.

[darkov]

[a cave, all together...]

...Was it nice?

[h2no]

[was it nice? archie doesn't regret the time in team aqua. he regrets going too far, but they really did have good times.]

Yeah. [and he ruined it, the way he ruins everything.] --Have you had a bonfire here, yet? Roasted marshmallows and the like?

[darkov]

[he shakes his head a little, slowly folding up the unused tissues still in his lap.]

[h2no]

Hmm, well, maybe we can do that some time. You can get little BBQ boxes to set up in the garden.

[he holds his hands out about a foot apart.]

About this big. It makes for a fun afternoon, for sure.

[which... he's aware martin probably doesn't want to think about anything other than the now, with rex gone. was this a bad idea? is it going to make martin thing that he's planning for a future without rex in his life? he is, sort of. archie knows that he can prepare himself for a huge change like this pretty quickly and pretty well, but what does that matter? martin can't, and he's still suffering.]

...Well, we can talk about that some other time. [he settles on, awkwardly trailing off.]

[darkov]

Oh... [his gaze trails away from Archie's hands.] Alright.

[he hesitates.]

If...other people can do it, too, then...that'd be good.

[h2no]

[he wants to ask why other people wouldn't be able to do it, but as usual, holds it back. he's not the one suffering, so why should he put martin on the spot? just push down everything about himself and focus on the gremlin.]

Yeah. 'Course they can. We can think about that some other time, though.

[darkov]

Alright...

[if it's for later, than he supposes he'll just leave it for later. if later comes at all. Martin swallows, shaking his head a little as if that'll clear out the thought, fidgeting a little under mightyena's weight.]